How can I help myself cope?
Will I ever get rid of my voices?
Some people do get rid of their voices. But many people find that they never go completely. Finding an approach that works best for you can help you come to terms with your voices and develop a better relationship with them.
Understand your voices
Understanding more about voices in your life now and how they relate to your past may help you:
- feel more in control
- recognise when your voices are causing problems
- stand up to your voices
- develop a better relationship with your voices so they don’t interfere with your life or prevent you from making your own choices.
“I understand I don’t have to give in to their demands. I can negotiate and wait before acting on instructions and try grounding techniques to distract myself.”
Voices and your past
These questions might help you think about how your voices relate to your past.
- What was happening when I first heard voices?
- Where was I? How was I feeling?
- What did they say?
- What did they sound like? What age were they?
- Do they represent a person or problem?
- Are there any patterns to the voices?
You may be able to identify voices as individuals from your past or as representing yourself at different ages.
They may be related more indirectly to a traumatic event.
Voices and your life now
These questions might help you think about voices in your life now.
- Do I hear voices at a particular time or place?
- What is happening when I hear voices?
- What do the voices want me to do?
- What do I want to do?
You may start to recognise when your voices are causing problems and what makes them worse.
This could help you identify when you need to look for support or look after yourself. It may help you feel more in control.
Keep a diary
Some people find that keeping a diary can help them answer some of these questions.
For example, you could record when you hear voices, what’s happening when you hear them, what they say, their tone of voice and how they made you feel.
Looking back over what you’ve written could help you see any patterns to the voices and understand how they affect you over a longer period of time. You might also notice if particular things seem to trigger your voices.
“My voices were very prevalent around food times and times I was doing nothing.”
You may not want to explore the story behind your voices in depth. But there are still things you could do to help you feel more in control. Here are some suggestions:
- Ignore the voices, block them out or distract yourself. For example, you could try listening to music on headphones, exercising, cooking or knitting. You might have to try a few different distractions to find what works for you.
- Give them times when you agree to pay attention to them and times when you will not.
- Tell them that you would like to wait before you do what they say.
- Stand up to them. Tell them they have no power over you and try to ignore their commands and threats.
- Try to ignore the voices you don’t like and focus on the ones you find easier to listen to.
“We would write letters to my voice to ask what it was they wanted from me and how I didn’t like what they were doing to me anymore.”
Talk to other people who hear voices
A safe space to talk to other people who hear voices can help you to feel heard and understood.
Peer support groups for people who hear voices can:
- help you feel less alone – you may be relieved to hear that other people have similar experiences
- help you talk about hearing voices in a safe, non judgmental place
- help you gain new perspectives and insight into your voices
- allow you to help others too
- help you feel accepted and listened to
- be great for your self esteem
- encourage you to make your own choices and decisions about how you want to deal with your voices.
You might find it helpful to contact a peer support group such as the Amity Mutual Support Society or other service providers such as Baptist Oi Kwan Social Service or your local Integrated Community Centre for Mental Wellness (ICCMW) that offer peer support services to see if they offer any support for people who hear voices. You can find your nearest ICCMW here.
“As soon as I began talking, I found my voice again and the fear slowly evaporated.”
Look after yourself
- Try to get enough sleep. Sleep can give you the energy to cope with difficult feelings and experiences. Voices may make it difficult for you to get enough sleep. You might find it helpful to learn relaxation techniques. Our pages on coping with sleep problems and relaxation have more information.
- Think about your diet. Eating regularly and keeping your blood sugar stable can make a difference to your mood and energy levels. Our pages on food and mood have more information.
- Learn ways to relax. Learning to relax can help you look after your wellbeing if you are feeling stressed or anxious. Our pages on relaxation have tips you could try.
- Spend time in nature. Being outside in green space can improve your wellbeing and help you feel more in touch with your surroundings. Our pages on nature and mental health have more information.
- Try and take some exercise. Exercise can be really helpful for your mental wellbeing. Our pages on physical activity have more information.
If you feel that your voices are a spiritual experience, you might want to talk to someone from your faith.
Unfortunately not all of them will understand your experience but some mental health professionals may be able to suggest someone who can help. You may wish to contact local organisations, such as Baptist Oi Kwan Social Service that offer care.