In 2023 I experienced a stillbirth and my son died during the late stages of pregnancy. It was a harrowing experience and was the first time I had experienced loss or grief in any big way. Leaving the hospital without my baby, who we named Finn, was something I will never forget. Those first weeks at home I felt confused, low, blurry, angry, had memory loss, had chronic night terrors, and myriad other feelings and sensations that I did not truly realise could be caused by trauma and grief.

As it was my first child, I was in a weird limbo space on the cusp of motherhood; not recognised as a mum, but feeling like one. It was incredibly lonely, as I didn’t know anyone who had been through a similar experience, and I was offered no psychological support by the doctors.

Thankfully the help of friends and family was like a lighthouse in the storm. Some texted every day (saying ‘thinking of you on Mother’s Day’ was especially helpful), some dropped food, sent cards, little mementoes, candles or flowers, others asked his name or his weight.

Now the grief is less raw, I look back and feel so grateful to have known little Finn and in some ways more resilient and strong for having experienced grief. I wish he was here and I miss him often but know now that grief is the price we pay for love, and I feel endlessly grateful that my friends and family sat with me in that difficult time and taught me that.