Donate
Find Help Now

Self-Harm

Disclaimer:

This publication is based on a Mind UK publication and the original version may be found here: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/a-z-mental-health/

Thank you to Mind UK for sharing their valuable content with us. Content included in Mental Health A-Z is made available free of charge and does not form part of any commercial activity. The adaptation has been done independently by Mind HK and is intended for general information purposes only.

What can friends and family do to help? 

This section is for friends and family members who want to support someone they know who self-harms. 

Finding out that someone you care about self-harms 

Whether someone tells you directly, or you suspect that someone is hurting themselves, it can be difficult to know what to say and how best to approach the situation. 

You might feel shocked, angry, helpless, responsible or any number of other difficult emotions. 

  • Try not to panic or overreact. The way you respond to your friend or family member will have an impact on how much they open up to you and other people about their self-harm in the future. 
  • Remember that self-harm is usually someone’s way of managing very hard feelings or experiences, and that in the majority of cases it is different to suicidal feelings. 

What helps? 

There are lots of things you can do to make a difference to someone you know who self- harms. Your attitude and how you relate to them is one of the key things that can help them feel supported. Here are some things to keep in mind: 

  • Try to be non-judgemental. 
  • Let the person know that you are there for them. 
  • Relate to them as a whole person, not just their self-harm. 
  • Try to have empathy and understanding about what they are doing. 
  • Let them be in control of their decisions. 
  • Offer to help them find support (see Useful contacts). 
  • Remind them of their positive qualities and things they do well. 
  • Try to have honest communication, where you take responsibility for any fears you have. 

“Having friends I could ring up and talk to about everyday things gave me some respite from the despair.” 

What doesn’t help? 

Sometimes, even with the best will in the world, attempts to support someone can backfire. Here are some potential pitfalls to watch out for: 

  • Trying to force change. 
  • Acting or communicating in a way that threatens to take control away from your loved one. 
  • Either ignoring their injuries or overly focusing on them. 
  • Labelling self-harm as ‘attention seeking’. 

Although it often isn’t, self-harm can sometimes be a person’s way of asking for attention. If so, it is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting attention, and that deep distress can get in the way of someone’s ability to be direct about what they need. 

Take care of yourself 

Supporting someone who is self-harming can be a long process with many ups and downs. Taking care of yourself will enable you to stay involved for longer and to keep well. See How to cope when supporting someone else for more information. 

Helpful things to put in place are: 

  • having clear boundaries about how much and what sort of support you can offer 
  • finding out what other support is available 
  • getting support and information for yourself – Coolminds offers support for parents, and visit our information pages on Carers
  • you may find it helpful to try a talking treatment if you are finding things difficult. 

Supporting people to stay safe 

It is common to feel scared about the possibility of someone seriously hurting themselves or even taking their own life. While it is understandable to have these fears, it is useful to remember that self-harm doesn’t necessarily mean that someone wants to end their life. 

“I self-harmed for many reasons and, although it was very dangerous, I think it ultimately saved my life. If I hadn’t had it as my coping mechanism, I would probably have just committed suicide.” 

There are, however, a small number of people who do go on to take their own lives, either intentionally or accidentally. It’s therefore important to have an honest conversation with your friend or family member about staying safe – for example, being aware when things are getting too much and knowing when to seek help. See our pages on coping with suicidal feelings and the Samaritan Befrienders website (Tel: 2389 2222) for more information.

Instagram Facebook-f Linkedin
What is iACT Service?

Improving Access to Community Therapies (iACT®) is one of the services from Mind HK. Trained Wellbeing Practitioners will offer initial assessment and early intervention for people dealing with mild to moderate symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties.

 

The service includes 6-8 sessions of low-intensity psychological support, the flexibility of the service allows individuals to receive free and timely support when needed.

If you’re aged between 18 – 65 and are facing some emotional challenges, we would like to invite you to take an online assessment for us to gain a better understanding of your current emotional struggle.

 

If you’re eligible, we’ll get you connected with a Wellbeing Practitioner within two weeks to sort out the next steps.

The service runs for about 3 months and includes 6-8 support sessions, tailored to your needs.

 

We encourage you to attend all sessions and actively practice the tips and exercises provided by your Wellbeing Practitioner.

We take your privacy seriously. Your chats with the Wellbeing Practitioner are confidential.

 

We won’t share any of your info unless you’ve provided consent or if there are risks detected.

This programme isn’t suitable for people facing emergencies, major setbacks, or those diagnosed with serious or complex mental health conditions.

 

If you’re having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this programme might not meet your needs, so please seek help right away. You can check out Mind HK’s “Find Help Now” page for immediate information and services.

Most of our Wellbeing Practitioners have backgrounds in psychology or counselling and are passionate about mental health. They’ve gone through about 140 hours of intensive training and completed at least 120 hours of supervised clinical practice over 9 months to ensure the quality of service.

 

They’re trained by accredited local experts in the mental health field, including clinical psychologists, counselling psychologists, counsellors, and psychiatrists. Plus, we regularly check how effective our services are. All service outputs and performances are subject to consistent monitoring.

Who is suitable for participating in this programme?

This programme welcomes anyone between the ages of 18 and 65 who may be feeling lost or facing emotional difficulties. Please note that this programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions.

This programme is not suitable for individuals diagnosed with severe or complex mental health conditions, but suitable for those who experience mild to severe moderate anxiety, mild to moderate depression, or other emotional challenges. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

After signing up, our Wellbeing Practitioner will contact you within two weeks to schedule a convenient time for a 45-minute conversation, either via video or phone call, according to your preference. During the conversation, the Wellbeing Practitioner will understand your current situation and help you gain a better understanding of your emotional state based on the questionnaire you filled out during application. Additionally, they will provide recommendations for appropriate community resources based on your needs, helping you take an important first step in taking care of your mental health.

Although the intervention procedure is mostly standardised, Wellbeing Practitioners will work flexibly with clients to address individual presenting problems and unique characteristics.

Our Wellbeing Practitioners are trained to support people who experience mild to moderate mental health difficulties primarily. This programme is not suitable for the situations mentioned above. If you are currently experiencing a major setback or even having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please visit the “Find Help Now” page on our Mind HK’s website for immediate information and services.

Your conversations with the Wellbeing Practitioner are absolutely confidential. Any information about you will not be shared with anyone without your consent unless you or others are at immediate risk or the Wellbeing Practitioner has reason to believe that you may be in imminent danger.
Supervisors will monitor trainees’ development throughout the placement to ensure that they are meeting the required level of competency to pass the training course at the end of the placement.

Yes, it is necessary to book an appointment in advance by filling out the form. Additionally, you can select one of the five stores yourself. We will allocate clients to different Wellbeing Practitioners based on their chosen location.

Before having the conversation, we will ask you to fill out a basic questionnaire for preliminary screening assessment. This screening process aims to ensure that the training received by the Wellbeing Practitioners is sufficient to meet the needs of the individuals receiving the service. If it is determined after the screening assessment that the service is not suitable for you, Mind HK will provide alternative recommendations to ensure your safety and support.

For adults who are suitable for this service, all Wellbeing Practitioners have received training on how to identify and respond to safety and risk issues. If you have any concerns about the support process, the Wellbeing Practitioners have appropriate measures in place and will develop response plans based on the urgency of the situation. They can also access support from clinical practitioners from Mind HK or participating organisations.

What private training does Mind HK provide?

Mind HK provides 4 themes of mental health training, including: Supporting Self, Supporting Others, Family Wellbeing and DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion).

 

Check out the brochure here for more information.

Mind HK provides a wide range of standardised mental health training, which can be tailored to different circumstances. Chat with our team to explore more! 

Our trainers come from a diverse, accredited pool of clinically experienced professionals. Check out our trainers’ biographies here.

Yes, the Mental Health First Aid class of Mind HK is internationally accredited by the MHFA International. The content and certification is delivered by trainers certified from the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong. You can find out our trainers accreditation here.

We are here to support your mental health education journey! Reach out to us and chat with our team.

What can friends and family do to help?

What can friends and family do to help? 

This section is for friends and family members who want to support someone they know who self-harms. 

Finding out that someone you care about self-harms 

Whether someone tells you directly, or you suspect that someone is hurting themselves, it can be difficult to know what to say and how best to approach the situation. 

You might feel shocked, angry, helpless, responsible or any number of other difficult emotions. 

  • Try not to panic or overreact. The way you respond to your friend or family member will have an impact on how much they open up to you and other people about their self-harm in the future. 
  • Remember that self-harm is usually someone's way of managing very hard feelings or experiences, and that in the majority of cases it is different to suicidal feelings. 

What helps? 

There are lots of things you can do to make a difference to someone you know who self- harms. Your attitude and how you relate to them is one of the key things that can help them feel supported. Here are some things to keep in mind: 

  • Try to be non-judgemental. 
  • Let the person know that you are there for them. 
  • Relate to them as a whole person, not just their self-harm. 
  • Try to have empathy and understanding about what they are doing. 
  • Let them be in control of their decisions. 
  • Offer to help them find support (see Useful contacts). 
  • Remind them of their positive qualities and things they do well. 
  • Try to have honest communication, where you take responsibility for any fears you have. 

"Having friends I could ring up and talk to about everyday things gave me some respite from the despair." 

What doesn't help? 

Sometimes, even with the best will in the world, attempts to support someone can backfire. Here are some potential pitfalls to watch out for: 

  • Trying to force change. 
  • Acting or communicating in a way that threatens to take control away from your loved one. 
  • Either ignoring their injuries or overly focusing on them. 
  • Labelling self-harm as 'attention seeking'. 

Although it often isn't, self-harm can sometimes be a person's way of asking for attention. If so, it is important to remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting attention, and that deep distress can get in the way of someone's ability to be direct about what they need. 

Take care of yourself 

Supporting someone who is self-harming can be a long process with many ups and downs. Taking care of yourself will enable you to stay involved for longer and to keep well. See How to cope when supporting someone else for more information. 

Helpful things to put in place are: 

  • having clear boundaries about how much and what sort of support you can offer 
  • finding out what other support is available 
  • getting support and information for yourself – Coolminds offers support for parents, and visit our information pages on Carers
  • you may find it helpful to try a talking treatment if you are finding things difficult. 

Supporting people to stay safe 

It is common to feel scared about the possibility of someone seriously hurting themselves or even taking their own life. While it is understandable to have these fears, it is useful to remember that self-harm doesn't necessarily mean that someone wants to end their life. 

"I self-harmed for many reasons and, although it was very dangerous, I think it ultimately saved my life. If I hadn’t had it as my coping mechanism, I would probably have just committed suicide." 

There are, however, a small number of people who do go on to take their own lives, either intentionally or accidentally. It’s therefore important to have an honest conversation with your friend or family member about staying safe – for example, being aware when things are getting too much and knowing when to seek help. See our pages on coping with suicidal feelings and the Samaritan Befrienders website (Tel: 2389 2222) for more information.